My Personal Amends

The title of this blog is only as appropriate as how bad the author was and how badly he wants to as the Big Book says, ..."recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body...". The level of how spiritual someone is can be measured by how effectively they make amends.

The Big Book goes on to talk about in Steps 8 and 9 the fact that, The spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it. So how are you living it today and what have you done for your recovery.

This is how I am living spiritually today: This morning I hit my knees and read 86, 87, 88 of the Big Book with a meditation (see Prayer/Meditation), I called my sponsor and checked in, I took my sponsee's calls, and I just made out an amends check.

An amends is to make something right. Today I wrote an amends check for $50.00 to Mark P. in Boston, Mass. whom I still owe (on this bill) $950.00. This is December's payment to Mark.

I don't know the kinds of things you did, but I sold dope, really hurt people, and physically/verbally abused, as well as used, every woman I ever dated (no sex for me this year....with only 3 months to go, but I'll go into the sex instinct later)

Today I sent off a check to Mark P. a guy that I owe money to in Boston, Mass. and I am sending him $50.00 in a check and my new balance that I owe him is $950.00.

I'll post more about my personal amends and the various way that I am making them each month as this blog continues.

For me this is still life in death, baby, it is Gangsta Recovery.